28 witty advertising slogans

  1. Harley Davidson – American by Birth. Rebel by Choice.
  2. Walmart – Save Money. Live Better.
  3. Reebok – I am what I am.
  4. Nike – Just do it.
  5. Adidas – Impossible is Nothing.
  6. Calvin Klein – Between love and madness lies obsession.
  7. Marks & Spencer – The customer is always and completely right!
  8. Levis – Quality never goes out of style.
  9. Tag Heuer – Success. It’s a Mind Game.
  10. Sony – Make Believe.
  11. IMAX – Think big.
  12. VW Beetle – Think small.
  13. Energizer – Keeps going and going and going.
  14. PlayStation – Live in your world. Play in ours.
  15. Blogger – Push button publishing.
  16. Canon – See what we mean.
  17. FedEx – When there is no tomorrow.
  18. Holiday Inn – Pleasing people the world over.
  19. Fortune – For the men in charge of change.
  20. Ajax – Stronger than dirt.
  21. Yellow Pages – Let your fingers do the walking.
  22. KFC – Finger lickin’ good.
  23. Burger King – Have it your way.
  24. M&Ms – Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
  25. Red Lobster – Seafood Differently.
  26. Mazda – Zoom Zoom.
  27. Coca Cola – You can’t beat the real thing.
  28. Jaguar – Own a Jaguar at a price of a car.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, comedy hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I present comic hoax keynotes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

25 mostly business jokes

  1. For just $100 a month you can reduce your annual income by $1,200.
  2. I’ve been voted employee of the month for the past 22 months. Being self-unemployed isn’t all bad.
  3. I received a notice about an ‘outstanding payment’. I don’t remember making it, but I glad they liked it so much.
  4. If you’re trying to fend off Alzheimer’s, try lending someone some money.
  5. Also, if you can remember how to spell it, you haven’t got Alzheimer’s.
  6. It’s never too late to start, which is why I’m putting it off until tomorrow.
  7. The only downside to my six-figure salary is the decimal point.
  8. Who would I like to be stuck in a lift with? A lift engineer. Certainly not a prescriptive linguist with a focus on preposition placement.
  9. Why did I want to be a film editor? Well, to cut a long story short …
  10. Never have a motto. That’s my motto.
  11. Procrastinators: the leaders of tomorrow.
  12. Plagiarism: getting into trouble for something you didn’t do.
  13. The grass may be greener on the other side, but their water bill is higher.
  14. Be a team player: it diffuses the blame.
  15. You leaving the office for four weeks is all the holiday I need.
  16. I don’t believe in democracy … and neither do you.
  17. Humans: zero to sixty in sixty years.
  18. Jokes about self-funded retirees are getting old.
  19. Rubbish: the stuff you throw away. Stuff: the rubbish you keep.
  20. Haloumi: who said it was cheesy to greet yourself in the third person?
  21. Unfortunately, I have one pair of running shoes and 16 pairs of eating shoes.
  22. Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters’.
  23. I’m a pretty good ventriloquist, even if I say so myself.
  24. I once had a recurring dream.
  25. ‘Do you have any questions about the menu?’  ‘Yes, what font is this?’

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I am an Australian comedian, comedy hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I present comic hoax keynotes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

A hoax is not a prank

The Encyclopedia of Humor Studies (2014) explores the concept of humor in history and modern society in the United States and internationally (see the publication URL below). The article ‘Hoax and Prank’ was co-authored by Rodney Marks and Jessica Milner Davis, and is one of 335 articles over two volumes.

Encyclopedia of Humor Studies (ed. Salvatore Attardo, Sage Publishing, vol.1: 137-40).

https://au.sagepub.com/en-gb/oce/encyclopedia-of-humor-studies/book235990.

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Hoax and Prank

The high comedy potential of hoaxes and pranks is partly related to their riskiness in terms of falling flat or giving offense. They may be rejected as not being at all funny, not merely by their victims but by a wider audience. Partly because of these serious risks of failure, when they do succeed without hurting, other than an acceptable loss of face, they are extremely funny indeed for all concerned. Despite this, many hoaxes are not at all funny, nor are they intended to be so: They are designed to further the interests of the perpetrators with serious deleterious consequences for the victims, as in business scams, swindles of individuals, and political dirty tricks.

This entry considers only comic hoaxes and pranks. Hoaxes can be amateur or professional. The International Society of Pranksters and Hoaxers is devoted to celebrating the art of the hoax and regularly awards a Hoax of the Month and of the Year.

Etymology and Origins

The noun hoax is derived from earlier use of the word in the active sense of hoaxing someone and the 2002 online version of the OED suggests both noun and verb perhaps originated in the magician’s mock-Latin expression “hocus-pocus” (an obsolete medieval term revived in the 19th century, meaning jugglery, trickery, or deception). Thus hoax may be a contracted form of hocus. The OED defines a hoax as “a humorous or mischievous deception . . . told in such a manner as to impose upon the credulity of the victim.” At the end of the 18th century, the verb form “to hoax someone” meant to deceive or to take someone in by inducing belief in an amusing or mischievous fabrication or fiction.

Prank is more firmly associated with humor (at least on the prankster’s side!). A prank may be no more than a “malicious trick; a wicked deed; a deception or scheme intended to harm, a hoax,” or even “a practical joke; a lark; a capriciously foolish act” (OED)—not at all funny to the victim. But the use of the verb form without a subject (as in “she pranked and laughed”) has meant “To play a trick or practical joke (on someone); to joke” from the early 16th century. The relatively new expression “to prank someone” was only introduced in America in the late 20th century and is firmly linked with humor.

Evidently the meaning of hoax is bound up with deception, humorous or mischievous, playing on the credulity of victims, whether successfully or not. The connotations of “prank” are with caprice and foolishness, as well as with more physicality to the trickery. A prankster is also less serious than a hoaxer and their foolish acts typically less well considered, more associated with folly, and usually directed toward a specific victim.

Another difference between hoax and prank is that in a hoax audience members are made aware of their victimization and given an opportunity to respond, perhaps with humor, with feedback, and/or with revenge. They are both victim and audience and the perpetrator remains on the scene to receive direct messages from them. In a prank, the victim may actually be let off the hook at the very end and is not identical with the audience, who may be quite remote, as in the 1950s American TV show, Candid Camera, showing a televised prank played on an unsuspecting member of the public.

In a prank, the revelation or dénouement is made to an audience that is separated from the prankster, who is likely to be immune to feedback or retaliation. However, in both hoax and prank, the humor of the idea or concept may fall short of actual implementation.

The related term spoof is classed as slang by the OED, which documents its invention by Arthur Roberts (1852–1933), a British comedian. It originated in a card game called “spoof,” popular at the London Adelphi Club and spreading from there to America. From this, spoof came to mean a skit or “send-up,” especially as applied to a film, play, or other work satirizing a particular genre. Thus it relates more to parody or burlesque although in today’s usage, spoof can overlap with hoax (particularly when used as a verb), but not with prank.

A 2001 April Fool’s Day prank took place in Denmark, regarding Copenhagen’s new subway. It looks as if one of its cars had an accident and had broken through and surfaced on the square in front of the town hall. In reality, it was a retired subway car from Stockholm, Sweden, cut obliquely, with the front end placed onto the tiling and loose tiles scattered around it. The sign in the window refers to Gevalia coffee, which is known for its ads featuring vehicles popping up, with a tagline such as “Be ready for unexpected guests.”

Forms and Media

Both hoaxes and pranks can be performed, although many hoaxes are not. In the scholarly world great mirth (and anger) was created by the 1996 successful written hoax perpetrated on the postmodern academic journal Social Text by Alan Sokal (then of the Department of Physics at New York University), who submitted an article titled “Transgressing the Boundaries: Toward a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity.” Despite its woolly expression, 220 references and 109 footnotes, it was accepted and published, and the author immediately revealed it as a parody of an article, intended to expose the extremist style of postmodernist critiques of the physical sciences. In fact, as Sokal himself acknowledged, the hoax achieved much of its serious aim, generating a still continuing productive debate about the need to respect science and scientific terminology and the importance of clear critical thinking and writing.

In one sense theater and mime depend on hoaxing their audiences at least temporarily. For example street mimes playing white or silver “living statues” challenge passersby to argue about whether the statue is “real” or human (a pleasing linguistic paradox). Theater audiences are all invited to self-delude and suspend disbelief, projecting themselves temporarily into an imaginary world.

Music has also known great hoaxes, such as the BBC Chamber Orchestra’s 1961 broadcast of a modernist piece by newly emerging Polish composer Pyotr Zak (alias Hans Keller 1919–1985), subsequently outed as a “zakophony.” The successful deflation of musical pretension was praised by Durham University’s professor of music, Arthur Hutchings (1906–1989), who himself confessed to using newly discovered “works” by Paul Hindemith to test his students (they were merely a pastiche of the rhythms and dynamics of a Beethoven piano sonata with nonsensically wrong notes).

Other media lending themselves to hoax include print and electronic media. A notable example was the Columbia Broadcasting System Halloween program, Sunday, October 30, 1938, adapted by Orson Welles from H. G. Wells’s short novel, The War of the Worlds (1898). The program purported to include real-time reports from the Mount Jennings Observatory in Chicago, Illinois, of explosions on Mars (as occurs at the beginning of the novel) and highly convincing reportage from the supposed landing site of a spaceship with police accounts of deaths. Despite Welles’s careful introduction and framing to the hoax, it was unfortunately taken as real by many listeners, many tuning in partway through and missing various hints. In any case, close to the outbreak of World War II, times were tense and science fiction was only just beginning to be understood as a genre. As noted by Stefan Lovgen, the program authentically simulates radio operating as a news medium in an emergency and must be classed as a successful—but ultimately unhumorous—hoax. Welles expressed his regret through the columns of The New York Times.

In the world of visual art, hoax, usually for the serious and fraudulent purpose of making money, is rife. By contrast, a positive creative prank was played by American artist Hugh Troy (1906–1964), famous as a student at Cornell University for various tricks, including creating a trail of rhinoceros footprints in the snow using a wastepaper basket made from a hollowed-out rhino foot (although some suspect

Troy made up this story later in his life to burnish his reputation as a prankster). On February 5, 1952, he ran an anonymous ad in the theatrical page of the Washington Post advertising a “ghost artist service”: “Too busy to paint? Call on the Ghost Artists. We paint it, you sign it.” Heated debate ensued on the ethics of artistic fraud.

Advertising and public relations have often been subject to comic hoaxing, such as fake “old ads” promoting lifestyle items now recognized as deleterious to health, intended to provoke modern outrage (such as 1950s ads featuring cola for babies, seemingly endorsed by the “Soda Pop Board of America”). A set of videos online called “The Japanese Tradition” appears to instruct gaijin (foreigners) in the arcane culture of handling chopsticks with precision and measuring precisely how low to bow when offering abject apologies. These videos are in fact the creation of the Raamenzu comedy duo, Kobayashi Kentaro and Katagiri Jin (both b. 1973), who performed the Japanese version of Apple’s “I’m a Mac” commercials (2008–2009).

Urban legends communicated orally and via the Internet and social media are hoaxes that have no single known creator but succeed in taking in many people—usually quite harmlessly. A widely believed “real” story, which first circulated orally but now via the Internet and which is discussed in Jan Harold Brunvand’s The Vanishing Hitchhiker: American Urban Legends and Their Meanings, is the case of the ghost hitchhiker who when given a lift home by a kindly stranger vanishes on arrival and is said by the family to have died some years before. Although locations change, the story is localized and received as true in each new time and place.

Hoax, Satire, Parody, and Pastiche

Many successful satires depend on temporarily hoaxing their readers before revealing their true purpose. Jonathan Swift’s famous work, A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick (1729), was deliberately shaped as a serious parliamentary pamphlet, published to contribute to the then-fashionable public debate on social issues that subjected them to fiercely rationalist economic analysis. Robert Phiddian has noted that on first appearance it seems to have been taken seriously by some.

Film and video, however, tend to deal more in parody and pastiche than in comic hoax: The mock-spy genre exemplified first by James Bond movies, and then by look-alikes Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997, dir. Jay Roach) and OSS 117: Le Caire, nid d’espions (OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies, 2006, dir. Michel Hazanavicius), are all deliberate spoofs whose humor relies on audiences recognizing the parallels and borrowings.

Contemporary Business Hoaxes

At its most moral, a hoax teaches its audience to think for themselves and to take nothing for granted until proven, as in the Sokal and Troy cases. Today’s hoaxes often challenge the seemingly all-powerful role of the media, as when in 2008 U.S. vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin was induced to take a 6-minute admiring phone call from French president Nicholas Sarkozy. This was in fact Marc-Antoine Audette, part of the French Canadian radio comic team Les Justiciers Masqués (The Masked Avengers), who chatted about hunting, relationships, family, and politics before revealing his prank call, which Palin took in stride.

Because the development by the audience of a healthy sense of skepticism may follow a successful hoax, a well-designed hoax can be of value to the commercial world. Professional bureaucracies have widely replaced the past so-called machine bureaucracies and expect employees to think and judge for themselves rather than blindly follow instructions. Rodney Marks, a full-time business hoaxer and corporate impostor who has performed internationally, illustrates by describing one of his performances.

His brief from a corporation was to challenge the overconfident assumption among staff that their competition was handicapped. Taking this literally, the hoaxer attended a 2-day training event in a wheelchair as a management expert, Dr. Clarrie “Buzz” Claxton [sic], executive vice president—professional development of a plausible-sounding enterprise.

After convincing but fraudulent workshops, the expert socialized with participants, despite the occasional accident with a urine drainage bag hung high above his wheelchair on a metal rod, overfilled with warm apple juice and occasionally spilling onto participants’ sandal-clad feet. He also gave the final keynote address. Buzz began with the usual corporate weasel word salad, with more or less plausible analysis of the industry, the organization’s services and products, and a dozen individual “roasts” of the firm’s leaders. He summed up with “It’s hard to identify whether or not an organization or a person is handicapped, and if so in what way and in which environment.” With that comment, Buzz stood up

and walked offstage, to thunderous silence. The applause eventually came after several shocked minutes. The experience became part of this company’s corporate mythology, and the message of strategic humility was incorporated into its organizational culture.

Humor Theory and Comic Hoaxes and Pranks

A true hoax or prank will begin in all seriousness and does not draw attention to any play frame or prior signaling about its ultimate humorous purpose. In fact, the setup is deliberately misleading, establishing as thoroughly as possible false expectations of a serious event to follow. After such an introduction, sufficient time, narrative, or action must be experienced by the audience to convince them that the hoax or prank is serious before its pretense is suddenly exposed and the hidden play frame revealed. Unlike satire, with the unmasking of the hoaxer the hoax is completed. Any subsequent interaction between agent and audience is of a different quality to that which has happened before.

As noted earlier, one implicit rule for the success of both hoax and prank is that there should be no real hurt or serious consequences to the victims/audiences. It was in this regard that the Orson Welles broadcast described earlier failed, as many listeners were not only alarmed but panicked, rushing to church to pray or to flee from their homes. In “Buzz” Claxton’s case, the greatest outrage during the 2-day hoax was from those whose feet had been “soiled.” Once exposed, the victims reflected on their victimization, thus becoming their own audience, relieved and amused.

In terms of humor theory, both the lighthearted prank and the more thoughtful comic hoax depend on incongruity created by the recognition and experience of a false pattern of reality, which is then exploded. Like all comedy, the hoax and the prank indulge the spirit of fun but combine it with a power game as the hoaxer pushes to see just how far the audience can be strung along before the hidden fiction has to either be revealed by the hoaxer—or reveals itself to the audience by the increased unlikeliness of the veracity of the narrative. The taut windup suddenly becomes unsprung.

A comic hoax will often have a slow-burning reaction, with some audience members understanding it and others remain naive and unaware. Then a domino effect has its own humor, as the newly in-the-know group feel superior to those who have not yet caught on. There may be some interplay unsolicited by the hoaxer, as aware audience members tease the still-fooled by collaborating with the perpetrator of the hoax and supporting the hoaxer’s story.

With a good hoax especially, after an initial explosion of mixed amusement and outrage, there is a period of critical reflection. Ideally this leads to acknowledgment—hopefully correction—of errors such as gullibility and excessive obedience to surface appearances. Certainly this is what is intended by the professional hoaxer. A prank, however, may have little critical or satirical intent, other than obliging the victim to put up with being laughed at.

Rodney Marks and Jessica Milner Davis

Further Readings

Brunvand, J. H. (1981). The vanishing hitchhiker: American urban legends and their meanings. New York, NY: Norton.

Hutchings, A. (1961, October). Personal view: 2. Du côté de chez Zak. Musical Times, 102(1424), 623–624.

Jones, M., Craddock, P., & Barker, N. (Eds.). (1990). Fake? The art of deception. Los Angeles: University of California Press.

Kurose, Y. (2011, September 13). Meet the comedy duo

Rahmens. Retrieved November 2, 2012, from http://injapan.gaijinpot.com/play/arts-entertainment/2011/09/13/meet-the-comedy-duo-rahmens

Lovgen, S. (2005). “War of the Worlds”: Behind the 1938 radio show panic. National Geographic News. Retrieved October 16, 2012, from http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/06/0617_050617_warworlds.html

Phiddian, R. (1996). Have you eaten yet? The reader in “A Modest Proposal.” Studies in English Literature, 1500–1900, 36, 623–631.

Powell, B. A. (2010, July 16). Vintage soda ads: Can you spot the fake? Grist. Retrieved November 2, 2012, from http://grist.org/article/food-vintage-soda-ads-can-youspot-the-fake/full

Sokal, A. D. (2008). Beyond the hoax: Science, philosophy and culture. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press. Trojan enterprise. (1952, February 18). Time. Retrieved from http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,822152,00.html

Website

Rodney Marks: https://www.comedian.com.au.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I am an Australian comedian, comedy hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I present comic hoax keynotes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

25 irreverent and irrelevant jokes

  1. If I had a dollar for every time I left something unfinished,
  1. There’s a fine line between hyphenated words.
  1. Ivory hunters: tsk tsk.
  1. I’ve never questioned myself, so why should I start now?
  1. A man walks into a library. and asks for a book about disappointing jokes. The librarian points him towards the book he is looking for.
  1. Another librarian walks into a bar and asks for a book on irony.
  1. The early bird catches the worm, but it’s the early worn who gets eaten.
  1. Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  1. I sometimes use Latin phrases that I don’t understand, and vice versa.
  1. I’m not a fan of shopping centres. Seen one, seen the mall.
  1. The bank sent me a final notice. Now I don’t have to unsubscribe.
  1. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
  1. Colleagues think I’m a good mind-reader.
  1. My editor said she was sacking me because of my lack of vocabulary. I was lost for words.
  1. The man who invented Chinese Whispers just died. Pass it on.
  1. I love reunions. They’re old school.
  1. Exercise bikes get you nowhere.
  1. Fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing.
  1. Here’s a tip for out-of-work actors. Tell friends that you’re working, and you are.
  1. Gold is worth its weight. In gold.
  1. Fox is so twentieth century.
  1. How can it be considered stealing when the Wi-Fi signal is trespassing in my office?
  1. Wind energy: big fan, big fan.
  1. People learn from history. That’s why you should delete it before logging off.
  1. I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of change.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, comedy hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoax keynotes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

28 office jokes

  1. It takes a long time to explain what you don’t know.
  2. For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake.
  3. He works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
  4. Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are held to discuss it.
  5. An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
  6. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has no letters? Post office (from 2017 on, snail mail has become redunadant).
  7. I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.
  8. I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
  9. The reward for a job well done is more work.
  10. There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
  11. I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.
  12. Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.
  13. Measure twice, cut five times, curse profusely, punch a wall, give up, call a professional.
  14. I always tell new subordinates: ‘Don’t think of me as your boss; think of me as your friend who can fire you’.
  15. I work to buy a car to go to work.
  16. I refused to believe my traffic cop father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
  17. Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today.
  18. Why don’t we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?
  19. Uber lost over a $1b in the last six months, so they’re asking their drivers to check between the seat cushions.
  20. I start every conversation with my colleagues by saying, ‘I shouldn’t be telling you this’, just so I know they’ll listen.
  21. My business partner hired a fact-checker for when we argue, and he allocated the expense to my drawings.
  22. My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
  23. The reason we ‘nod off to sleep’ at meetings is so it looks like we’re agreeing with everything.
  24. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  25. The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
  26. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
  27. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  28. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

26 work jokes

  1. I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
  2. Who says ‘nothing is impossible’. I’ve been doing nothing for years.
  3. I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early.
  4. We never knew he was a drunk until he showed up to work sober.
  5. When my boss told me this is the fifth time I’m late, I smiled and thought to myself, it’s Friday.
  6. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
  7. Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
  8. Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
  9. All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
  10. How long have I been working for the company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.
  11. Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing that today is Tuesday.
  12. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  13. The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.
  14. A healthy nap not only makes you feel better, it also shortens the work day.
  15. Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free.
  16. If we knew what we were doing it wouldn’t be called research.
  17. My job is secure. No one else wants it.
  18. If you worked hard and didn’t get anything in return, it means someone else got it.
  19. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  20. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. So now you know why they call this a workstation.
  21. My resume is just a list of things I hope I never get asked to do.
  22. Don’t be irreplaceable – if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  23. I can’t be fired. Slaves are sold.
  24. If work is so great, why do they have to pay you to do it?
  25. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.