1. If I had a dollar for every time I left something unfinished,
  1. There’s a fine line between hyphenated words.
  1. Ivory hunters: tsk tsk.
  1. I’ve never questioned myself, so why should I start now?
  1. A man walks into a library. and asks for a book about disappointing jokes. The librarian points him towards the book he is looking for.
  1. Another librarian walks into a bar and asks for a book on irony.
  1. The early bird catches the worm, but it’s the early worn who gets eaten.
  1. Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  1. I sometimes use Latin phrases that I don’t understand, and vice versa.
  1. I’m not a fan of shopping centres. Seen one, seen the mall.
  1. The bank sent me a final notice. Now I don’t have to unsubscribe.
  1. Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
  1. Colleagues think I’m a good mind-reader.
  1. My editor said she was sacking me because of my lack of vocabulary. I was lost for words.
  1. The man who invented Chinese Whispers just died. Pass it on.
  1. I love reunions. They’re old school.
  1. Exercise bikes get you nowhere.
  1. Fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing.
  1. Here’s a tip for out-of-work actors. Tell friends that you’re working, and you are.
  1. Gold is worth its weight. In gold.
  1. Fox is so twentieth century.
  1. How can it be considered stealing when the Wi-Fi signal is trespassing in my office?
  1. Wind energy: big fan, big fan.
  1. People learn from history. That’s why you should delete it before logging off.
  1. I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of change.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, comedy hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoax keynotes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.