by Rodney Marks | Jan 31, 2017 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Entertainment, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking
- Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. (Thomas Edison)
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. (Steve Martin)
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? (George Carlin)
- You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. (Jack London)
- If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big. (Donald Trump: comedy writer; US President)
- Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. (Kyle Chandler)
- Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. (Albert Einstein)
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. (A.A. Milne)
- A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure. (Anonymous)
- Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. (Will Rogers)
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. (Mark Twain)
- Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. (Ellen DeGeneres)
- Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. (Tom Lehrer)
- Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. (Isaac Asimov)
- Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour. (Truman Capote)
- People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. (Zig Ziglar)
- If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. (Dalai Lama)
- When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard’, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ (Sydney Harris)
- I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. (Lily Tomlin)
- If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. (Marie Osmond)
- There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. (Roger Staubach)
- Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop. (Anonymous)
- Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can. (Danny Kaye)
- If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big. (Tom Hirshfield)
- There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. (Bill Watterson)
- I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. (Alice Roosevelt Longworth)
- Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. (Voltaire)
- I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. (Benjamin Franklin)
- Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there. (Josh Billings)
- When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. (Cathy Guisewite)
- Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. (Charles Schulz)
- Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times. (Napoleon Hill)
- Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t. (Richard Bach)
- I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess. (Cassandra Duffy)
- By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. (Robert Frost)
- My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. (Dave Barry)
- Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts’, probably lost. (Martina Navratilova)
- If you fall, I’ll always be there. (The Floor)
- Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?! (Naruto Uzumaki)
- I intend to live forever. So far, so good. (Steven Wright)
… … … … …
Rodney Marks
I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.
For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.
by Rodney Marks | Jan 29, 2017 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Entertainment, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking
Here are some jokes that I’ve written about words and the people who use them. © Rodney Marks, 2017.
… … … … …
- (This opening line begins with clearing the throat.) Sorry, I have a touch of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but that’s neither floccinaucinihilipilification nor there.
- What’s the synonym for thesaurus?
- The best thing about concision is that it’s over before you know it.
- I taught myself to be an autodidact.
- I thought that I was discombobulated, but I may be confabulating.
- If you don’t know what schadenfreude means, then I experience it.
- Verisimilitude is almost the same as the real thing.
- Any questions? I’ve got some answers and I’d like to use them.
- In my family, coprolalia is taboo.
- I was unhappy to learn that ignorance is bliss.
- A pause is the beginning of a silence, or at least that’s what I heard.
- I see that you’re supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in your antidisestablishmentarianism.
- Gobbledygook is gibberish to me.
- You may think I’m an irritable, cantankerous, irascible curmudgeon, but you’d be wrong.
- Remember, nothing comes from nothing. That’s really something, but it’s not everything.
- You know, the more you know, the less you know you know. The less you know, the less you know you don’t know. Don’t you know it.
- Indubitably is beyond doubt.
- Emolients make you soft.
- Feeling crapulent drives me to drink.
- Being preantepenultimate is better than being fourth last.
- Even since I began using sesquipedalian, I’ve become one.
- Circumperambulation is a walk in the park.
… … … … …
Rodney Marks
I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.
For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.
by Rodney Marks | Jan 29, 2017 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Entertainment, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking
1. If you see a bandwagon, it’s too late. James Goldsmith
2. Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor. John Ciardi
3. Why join the navy if you can be a pirate? Steve Jobs
4. The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. Lilly Tomlin
5. Get the right people on the bus and in the right seat. Jim Collins
6. The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. Vidal Sassoon
7. When you’re up to your armpits in alligators, it’s hard to remember to drain the swamp. Ronald Reagan
8. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig. George Bernard Shaw
9. Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more. Oscar Wilde
10. The successful man is the one who finds out what is the matter with his business before his competitors do. Roy L. Smith
11. Eagles soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
12. Every employee rises to the level of his own incompetence. Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle
13. Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. Cyril Northcote, Parkinson’s Law.
14. A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. David Brinkley
15. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. Joseph Stilwell
16. Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. Sloan Wilson
17. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it. George Bernard Shaw
18. Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it. Andrew Young
19. There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? Kin Hubbard
20. There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. David Letterman
21. Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats. Howard Aiken
22. There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job. Peter Drucker
23. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost
24. Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. Doug Larson
25. Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill
26. A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it. William Feather
27. If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars. J. Paul Getty
28. The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you. Bette Midler
29. Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. Spike Milligan
30. If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some. Benjamin Franklin
31. Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. George Burns
32. If you don’t know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route. Malcolm S. Forbes
33. It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money. PJ O’Rourke
34. Never invest in anything that eats or needs repairing. Billy Rose
35. If at first you don’t succeed; you are running about average. MH Alderson
36. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. WC Fields
37. If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. Quentin Crisp
38. If at first you don’t succeed, take the tax loss. Kirk Kirkpatrick
39. The most popular labor-saving device is still money. Phyllis George
40. Nothing recedes like success. Walter Winchell
41. Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. Jackson Brown
42. It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. Adlai Stevenson
43. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. Mark Twain
44. Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment. Scott Adams, Dilbert
45. Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes. Lewis Grizzard
46. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde
47. All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. Aristotle
48. In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there’s no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities. Les Claypool
49. Beware of any enterprise requiring new clothes. Henry Thoreau
50. Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train. Jim Halpert, The Office
51. Every man has a right to be conceited until he is successful. Benjamin Disraeli
52. You never become a howling success by just howling. Bob Harrington
53. Success means only doing what you do well, letting someone else do the rest. Goldstein S. Truism
54. Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure. Joseph Heller
55. Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower
56. Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. Earl Wilson
57. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte
58. One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness. Josh Billings
59. There’s nothing so improves the mood of the Party as the imminent execution of a senior colleague. Alan Clark
60. I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues. Franklin D. Roosevelt
61. Make sure you have a vice president in charge of your revolution, to engender ferment among your more conventional colleagues. David Ogilvy
62. One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. Bertrand Russell.
… … … … …
Rodney Marks
I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.
For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.
by Rodney Marks | Jan 28, 2017 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Entertainment, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking
It is impossible to communicate with absolute precision. There’s always room for nuance, misinterpretation and confusion. For instance, when identifying a colour, describing it so precisely that it could be identified exactly is rare.
There are more colours than most of us have names for. And more colours than there are names for, as the are an infinite number of gradations.
I was recently at a business event and asked a delegate wearing a pinkish outfit what colour it was. We workshopped salmon and coral, before agreeing that it was the colour of a salmon crashing into coral: blood orange.
If we can’t agree on colour, being evidence-based, how can we agree on issues, products, services and personalities?
How many of these colours (and blacks, greys and whites) can you identify with precision?
… … … … …
Black
Ebony, inky, jet, licorice, noir, onyx, pitch, raven, sable, sooty, tar
Grey
Ash, battleship, charcoal, cinder, flint, granite, iron, lead, pelican, platinum, putty, salt-and-pepper, silver, slate, smoke, steel
White
Achromatic, alabaster, bone, chalk, cream, dove, eggshell, ivory, manila, milky, nougat, off-, oyster, pearl, snow
Green
Apple, aquamarine, avocado, bottle, cucumber, cyprus, emerald, forest, grass, jade, leaf, lime, mint, olive, pea, pistachio, sea, teal, turquoise, ultramarine
Yellow
Amber, blonde, canary, chamois, champagne, citron, corn, flaxen, gold, honey, lemon, maize, mustard, saffron, sand, straw, sulphur, sunflower, sunny, wheaten, yolk
Brown
Auburn, beige, bronze, brunette, burnt almond, burnt ochre, burnt sienna, burnt umber, butterscotch, camel, caramel, chocolate, cinnamon, cocoa, coffee, copper, earth, faun, hazel, khaki, leather, liver, mahogany, mocha, nut, ochre, peppercorn, raw sienna, raw umber, sepia, sienna, tan, tawny, terra-cotta, titian, toast, topaz, umber, walnut
Orange
Apricot, cantaloupe/rock melon, carrot, ginger, mandarin, peach, pumpkin, salmon, tangerine
Red
Blood, blush, brick, burgundy, cerise, cherry, claret, cranberry, crimson, henna, lobster, magenta, maroon, paprika, pimento, ruby, ruddy, rust, scarlet, strawberry, vermillion
Pink
Carnation, coral, flamingo, hot, rose, shocking, water melon
Purple
Amethyst, aubergine/eggplant, deep, fuchsia, grape, lavender, lilac, mauve, mulberry, pansy, plum, prune, violet
Blue
Baby, cobolt, cyan, dark, deep, delft, electric, flag, ice, indigo, marine, midnight, navy, pale, powder, royal, sapphire, sea, sky, slate, true, water.
… … … … …
Rodney Marks
I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.
For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.
by Rodney Marks | Jan 27, 2017 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Entertainment, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking
Monologuists, solo performers, raconteurs and other storytellers have much in common with keynote speakers. This monologue is formatted in a different way to a keynote, which is often simply word-processed. However, the arc of the story and its interactivity are similar in the theatre and at business events.
You can become an even better keynote speaker by going to solo performances and by reading play scripts for one-person shows.
… … … … …
‘HOAXES & JOKESES‘ by Rodney Marks & Benjamin Marks
THE PERFORMER
1. HERE GOES NOTHING
Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, playwrights and plagiarists: salutations and felicitations, greetings one and all, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, good day and good night.
Goodness.
You’re all important people.
I can see that.
You’ve come to the theatre.
Invested in space and time and money.
So, I should begin with a deal of sorts, a social contract, and statement of mutual obligation, mutuality, quid pro quo and reciprocity.
If I keep to my role for an hour and a half, and you all keep to your role for about 90 minutes, then we should all finish at about the same time.
However, if you finish listening before I finish speaking, just think quietly to yourselves until I catch up.
Are we really equal-but-different? There’s no turn-taking at being first-amongst-equals.
This is a consumerist society, and you’re the consumers. I mean, whilst we probably have similar educational, psychological and cultural backgrounds, our paths diverged as a result of now-regretted career choices, and our socioeconomic groups stratified.
I am here in a one-person show in a fringe venue.
My fellow performers are less than enamoured with my personality, talent, looks, age and résumé.
Thus the solo element of my aloneness, but not the sole one.
One difference between being alone and being lonely may be exemplified in this performance space.
As a performer, I am alone on the stage, but I don’t necessarily feel alone.
Except when you all forget that part of your role is to acknowledge my existence, be positive, and pay twice for your seats – once at the box office, once through taxes.
As a member of the audience, each of you is not alone. You are together.
You may be isolated, estranged and even alienated from the person or persons with whom you journeyed here.
You may be wondering what your nearest and dearest are doing in the outside world right now.
If that’s the case: concentrate.
Be where you are.
Be in the moment.
I have to.
Be.
Or not.
Nonetheless, there’s a bunch of you, and only one of moi.
It may come down to the economics of the performing arts.
Hence, thence, whence, however so much and not really having the wherewithal to do or to be other than what you see before you, wherefore and therefore whyfore, here I am.
But you?
Your very presence here may well be a sign of personal failure, an inability to entertain yourselves, an addiction to self-indulgent navel-gazing, a neurological need to be intellectually stimulated from apathy to atrophy, paralysis by analysis.
(wryly)
There’ll be time for questions at the end.
2. THE SNAKE THAT SWALLOWED ITS TAIL
I want to discuss two things, and two things only, with you now.
The first is a system for discussing things; the second, a fresh, explanatory idea about our place in the world.
The system is not so much radial or annular or circular or circumlocutory, but, in a roundabout kind of way, cyclic.
A lot of thinking has gone into it, systems thinking, making it a thinking system.
It is systemic, systematic and systematised.
A number of resources are required to fuel the system.
Firstly – and this “firstly” implies a number of numbers, a list, a sequence of consequence.
However, first things first, and so to “firstly”.
Firstly, there’s human resources, also known as people.
From “firstly” one could infer “secondly”, and, if you did, or had, you’d have been be correct.
“Secondly” – and there it was – there are financial resources, such as our once almost whole dollar.
Thirdly, the physical resources of property, plant and equipment. So tangible, so fungible, so transferable.
Fourthly, time, the ultimate finite resource, which is either a numerator or a denominator, depending upon where and when your did your maths, or math, as we’ve recently become a pluralistic society.
And fifthly, like the snake or dragon, from both Western and Eastern philosophy and mythology: the creature that is swallowing its own tail – that impossible icon, that improbable emblem – the system itself, an increasingly concentric circle, is part of its own input, as kind of endlessly self-calibrating feedback loop.
These inputs are input as input and then, as throughput, transformed into output, the outcomes from which are measured initially qualitatively and ultimately quantitatively against a plethora of hierarchies, an aggregation of continua and a collection of assessment criteria, before being fed back into the thinking system, based as it is on systems thinking, as both refined input and a submission to other systems thinkers for further systemic thinking, to be thought upon.
3. CHANGING ROLES
And now to the ideation mentioned earlier.
Audience members, each and every one of you, together constitute a separate, original audience.
There is a mob feel, a groupthink, a cohesion within an audience by which individuals give up their individuality and go with the majority, an insane and necessarily yielding mass.
But within that mass, this mass,
(gestures towards the audience)
each person at a different time takes turns at the role of auditor, of having an outsider’s perception.
And with a roomful of auditors, this theatre turns into an auditorium.
A pair of eyes is turned away from the performance space and towards the watchers, the listeners.
At that moment, for that nanosecond, that person becomes an “audient”.
Two or more audients make an audience.
Three or more audients, and Actors Equity becomes involved.
Audiences as a whole are proudly practical, pragmatic and down-to-earth, even anti-intellectual, and uniquely qualified to be so.
Solitary audients, however, have out-of-body experiences, doubting the accuracy of their perceptions. They feel inside out, outside in, topsy-turvey, a fool in a crowd of geniuses, a Nobel laureate at the asylum.
So, here you all are, in your changing roles as part of the group and separate from it, and in transition, in translation, from one to the other.
Good luck.
4. PARADIGM SHIFT
However, the particular idea under discussion is predicated on a precedent.
In turn, that pattern has become the precept for a concept, which has subsequently been ameliorated into a template.
Then, consequently and pre-ante-penultimately, it has been graphically laid out as a model in matrix format.
Initially, this grid had two dimensions and two axes – x and y.
Later on, ante-penultimately, it was reshaped into a Rubic’s Cube-like three-dimensional manifestation of the same – with a z axis being added.
Naturally.
Penultimately, it was pushed through and out of this six-sided figure, which was dicey, and became a paradigm, which, ultimately, I am delighted say, I shifted.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering how the policy-making system on the one hand,
(holds up one hand, and keeps it raised)
can, in a dotted-line sense, be connected to the idea on the other.
(holds up the other hand, then drops both)
Well, we were fortunate enough to receive special, one-off triennial funding to pay for some postdoctoral jolly good fellows.
They constructed some very interesting theoretical and hypothetical conjoint, converging and diverging parallel lines, interconnecting the two, so that the intersection of the vertices of the nexi dovetailed perfectly.
The various component parts were integrated and synthesised into an holistic totality, making what would otherwise have been facile and gratuitous, lucid and articulate.
Further grants allowed public-private partnership infrastructure to be superimposed on the superstructure, contextualising the content.
This was essential, as content with context has no meaning.
Anyway, I mention all this before I begin,
(pause)
in order to clarify and classify and categorise and, as I said, systemise, some of the terms and conditions, I mean terms and concepts, that I hope we’ll go through here tonight so that we have the corpus of key concepts, the same slew of near-synonyms and the same linguistic wastepaper baskets in which to dip.
Any questions?
[THE PERFORMER should feel free to treat this as a rhetorical question, or to improvise an answer. No pressure; this is a real choice.]
I recall that many of you do not know what a question is, having been educated locally, where rote learning is all the go.
(as an aside)
I do hope that you don’t find me patronising or pompous or bombastic or supercilious.
If you do, please just accept that as a bonus.
After all, if someone like me doesn’t tell you, who will?
(to the centre)
A question often begins with who, why, where, how, which, what or when, and ends with a metaphorical interrogative, which the few literate or numerate amongst you will recognise as a question mark.
Hmm?
However, semiotics,
(as another aside)
which is the study of verbal and nonverbal behaviour in toto, including non-word spoken utterances, unspoken word communiqués and attempted communication such as self-censored word bubbles or balloons,
(to the centre again)
suggests that one cannot fully understand the nature of the question, unless one knows a little about the questioner.
So, if you could be so kind as to be recognised, tell me a bit about yourself, what you do, where you do it, how long you’ve done it there, and then proceed with the text of the intent of the import of the inquiry, that would be most helpful.
Who would like to ask the first question?
I have an answer and I’d like to use it.
No, well then, in summing up in the pithy style with which I’ve become associated, I’d just like to say that, as I don’t wish to be verbose of loquacious or garrulous, or chatty or talkative, in any way, shape or, ah, form, um: welcome.
Here we are, then, at the end of the beginning.
I hope that it’s not the beginning of the end.
Rather, we now move on to the beginning of the pert of this play on words to what dramaturgs and literary advisers call: the next bit.
5. A TRIP TO THE LIBRARY
I thought that this might be a good time in the proceedings to go through all knowledge known to scholars throughout history.
Let’s limit the scope to five minutes, and, as a reward, we could have a short intermission afterwards.
We are helped in this endeavour by history, which tells us,
(like a vaudevillian)
in chapter two,
(unlike a vaudevillian)
that most professionals, philosophers, social scientists and and real ones, spend much of their working lives successfully disproving the theories and propositions and values of their peers and predecessors.
So let’s just work with generally accepted principles, and four minutes should do the job.
The development of information technology as an industry has been a way to keep all the ADHD, tunnel-vision, single-focus hocus pocus kids out of the decision-making arena.
Computer science is the domain of those for whom the repository is of more interest that its contents.
Computers keep the irresponsible unresponsive, and away from responsibility.
Studying philosophy is simply an excuse to be poorly dressed, don’t you think?
And psychology, whilst it may assist psychologists in labelling enemies, is based on a fallacy, spelt f a l l a c y for those with sex on the brain.
The study of mental illness is futile, for the mind is not a bodily organ, but a metaphor for thinking; it is not the same as the brain. What physical presence do ideas have? So since illness only affects bodily organs, and the mind if not a bodily organ, therefore mental illness is a myth.
Econometrics is actually economic history, not economic science, since there are no constants of human action, measure of quantity are historical and utility is not intersubjectively comparable.
Hmm.
Enjoy the break.
END
… … … … …
Rodney Marks
I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.
For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.
by Rodney Marks | Jan 26, 2017 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Entertainment, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking
Domain names can demonstrate that you are the category killer.
Take my comedian.com.au … please.
Amusing designations can also show lack of insight or a sense of mischief, depending on whether you give credit for unconscious hilarity. Here are some examples:
… … … … …
- apetit.com
- blackhatebook.com
- budget.co.ck (Cook Islands’ top-level domain is co.ck)
- childrenswear.co.uk
- choosespain.com
- dicksonweb.com
- expertsexchange.com
- ipanywhere.com
- itscrap.com, and similarly: americanscrapmetal.com
- masterbaitonline.com
- mp3shits.com
- penisland.net
- powergenitalia.com
- speedofart.com
- swissbit.ch
- teacherstalking.org
- therapist.com and also: therapistfinder.com
- webone.com
- whorepresents.com
- hireatease.com
… … … … …
Rodney Marks
I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.
For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.
