Contronyms create ambiguity

by Rodney Marks | Nov 28, 2016 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking

A contronym (also spelled contranym) is a word – or short phrase – that is its own opposite. Contronyms can be useful to managers wanting to deliberately create ambiguity, to avoid being accountable for actions, policies, planning or decisions.

Here are some examples to help you with your obfuscation:

Off

off  (the switch is off)

on  (the alarm went off).

Seed

to seed can mean to plant or to fund

to remove seeds.

Bill

an invoice for payment

a payment.

Citation

commendation

condemnation.

Hoi polloi  (who are you marketing to?)

the rank and file

the elite.

Hack

a brilliant solution

an improvised hodge-podge.

Oversight  (one of my favourite types of committee)

watching over

not noticing.

Quantum leap

a tiny bit

a major change.

Strike

a success

a failure.

Consult

to give advice

to receive advice.

Lease or rent

to pay for the use of something

to receive money for the use of something.

Fix

to mend

to castrate.

Hold up

to help

to hinder.

Sanction (this is the classic example of a contronym)

to endorse

to boycott.

Scan

to view carefully

to view superficially.

Table

to bring forward to discussion

to withdraw from discussion.

Wind up

to start

to finish.

Model

a paradigm

a copy.

Presently

now

soon.

Fine

excellent

satisfactory.

Custom

common practice

special treatment.

Give out

to provide

to cease due to lack of supply.

With

alongside

against.

Transparent  (transparency is a management value)

invisible

obvious.

Stakeholder

someone with a stake in an organisation

a bystander holding a stake for those placing a bet.

… … … … … … …

Proverbs for, proverbs against

by Rodney Marks | Nov 28, 2016 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking

Are you at work looking for wisdom, or to be validated as wise yourself? Proverbs can help. They’ve stood tests of time and place, and there’s at least one for every occasion. Found one that proves you wrong? Don’t worry, seek a little further and there’ll be a proverb showing that you’re correct after all.

Here are some pairs of contradictory proverbs. Be humble in the knowledge that, in the world of the proverb, you are always right … and always wrong.

On being decisive:

• He who hesitates is lost.  versus  Look before you leap.

On time management:

• Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.  versus  Don’t cross the bridge until you come to it.
• Haste makes waste.  versus  The early bird catches the worm.
• Measure twice, cut once.  versus  A stitch in time saves nine.

On the value of eloquence:

• A word to the wise is sufficient.  versus  Talk is cheap.
• The squeaky wheel gets the oil.  versus  Silence is golden.

On teamwork:

• Many hands make light work.  versus  Too many cooks spoil the broth.
• Two heads are better than one.  versus  Paddle your own canoe.

On the value of diversity:

• Opposites attract.  versus  Birds of a feather flock together.

On competition policy:

• Attack is the best form of defence.  versus  Those who live by the sword, die by the sword.

On planning:

• Early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise.  versus  Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

On telecommuting:

• Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  versus  Out of sight, out of mind.

On having comedy at business events:

• Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone.  versus  Misery loves company.

… … … … … … …

A bird in the hand is better than an elephant in the room

by Rodney Marks | Nov 28, 2016 | Business, Comedian, Comedy, Corporate, Events, Hoax, Keynote, Speaker, Speaking

Idioms have indirect meaning, and word for word mean something else. That’s why they’re so useful in business, where saying what you mean and meaning what you say are often mutually exclusive, if you see what I mean to say.

For instance, see this transition from corporate life to start-up entrepreneur, in idiomatic terms –

Whatever walk of life you’re in, whether you’re a cog in the wheel or a member of the oldest profession, there comes a time when you have to decide between a golden handshake and walking the plank. When you’re been put out to pasture,  you can hang out your shingle to earn your bread and butter. Don’t let the man get you down or force you to hang up your boots. You’ve spent years burning the midnight oil on someone’s else’s dime. Now’s the time to make your mark, to blow your own trumpet, and live the life of Riley.

It’s not going to be a bed of roses, but having a piece of the action might make you discover that you do indeed have the Midas touch. Before long, you’ll be in clover, in the lap of luxury in the land of milk and honey. There’ll be pennies from heavenand you’ll never have had it so good. You’ll look back on the chicken feed that you used to earn, and be happy on your bed of roses.