Excuses for being back late from lunch
Top tips for justifying the unbelievable, and keeping your job after committing a minor misdemeanor.
Creativity vs. Innovation
How does management doubletalk define Creativity, and how does it differ from Innovation?
How to speak like an MBA
The real trick to sounding smart in business is mastering three-word management terms. Select a word from each of the three paragraphs below. This innovative process will create a three-word description of a project or a management theory. No-one can remember every possibility, but as a mnemonic, commit these lists to memory and your troubles will be over.
Values, vision, mission, strategy … bingo!
Prick up your ears each time you hear one of these key business buzzwords. When you hear two, go to high alert. If three are buzzing around a meeting in quick succession, tie your shoelaces tight and get ready to stand up. If all four are spoken at the one event, adopt one or more of these survival techniques.
How to give business terms even less meaning
Weasel words are words and phrases that set out to set you down the wrong path. They divert and hijack meaning, on purpose, with purpose. The etymology of the term is from about 1900, and refers to weasels eating the contents of eggs whilst leaving the shell intact. The weasel is a carnivorous mammal, and the term includes the better-known ferret and mink. There are several excellent ways to suck the protein out of business terms.
Excuses for having a day off work
Absenteeism is simply transparent, even honest, presenteeism. You shouldn’t be reprimanded for being straightforward. Here’s a ready-to-use Excuse Maker … to justify the unbelievable. Next time you sleep in, slack off, or are so hung-over that you can’t invent a reason on the spot, try one of these explanations.
Double-talk Dictionary
Double-talk is language comprised of real and invented elements. It appears knowledgeable but is, in fact, meaningless. Much management lingo falls into this category. Here is a list of the true meaning of 11 management buzzwords and buzz phrases.
Disambiguation
It is absolutely critical, crucial, compulsory, mandated, obligatory and essential to disambiguate wherever and whenever possible. Putting a perimeter around the parameter of an opinion, perception or plan helps to place boundaries around leaky argumentation, minimising confusion whilst augmenting veracity.
Excuses for arriving late to work
You’re late for work. You need to improvise a reason. Like many ad-libs, you have a few justifications, alibis and tricks already pre-prepared, because you’re used to doing more with less.
Computing buzzword bingo
You’re an executive and you want to appear knowledgeable about computing. You only need these 25 throw-away concepts that have been obtusely planned for obsolescence. When you hear one too many of these IT buzzwords, shout ‘Bingo!’ – and go home.