Here begins the episodic publication of The Management Contradictionary (Benjamin Marks, Rodney Marks, and Robert Spillane. Michelle Anderson Publishing: Melbourne).

It’s available in all good libraries, and quite a few bad ones, too. It’s in alphabetical order, so feel free to keep reading the blog posts until you get to z, or zzz.

The Management Contradictionary defines the real meaning behind management terms.

ability

The capacity and competency to prove potential capability.

abnormal

Not like me.

about-face

A 180 degree policy reversal. Often revolutionary; that is, 360 degrees.

above-the-line

Paid promotion that you agree is a gamble, such as TV, radio and print advertising.

absenteeism

See presenteeism.

academic

The most insulting word in any language.

accident

Lack of belief in predetermination or the divine providence of coincidence.

account executive

Semi-permeable listening device.

accountability

An out-of-fashion concept that refers to people being held responsible for their own actions. Pre-dates, and made redundant by, the concept of blaming, which is central to organisational behaviour.

accounting

The rewriting of history, in columns and rows, to justify to shareholders what you did with their money.

accounts payable

Money you’ll eventually pay those supplies whom you’ve selected to keep in business.

accounts receivable

Money that’s owed to you by customers using you as their choice of bank, due to your preferred terms: no loan application fee, no interest, no credit rating downgrade. Best located in the marketing department.

acccuracy

Precisely.

achievement

Abandoning a larger task.

acquisition

See merger.

acronyms and initialisms

Short-cuts to obscurity.

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