Here ends the episodic publication of The Management Contradictionary (Benjamin Marks, Rodney Marks, and Robert Spillane. Michelle Anderson Publishing: Melbourne) … not with a whimper, not with a bang, but with a full stop.
It’s available in all good libraries, and quite a few bad ones, too. The book is in alphabetical order, so feel free to keep reading the blog posts – past, present and future – from eh? to zzz.
The Management Contradictionary defines the real meaning behind management terms.
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It’s a dictionary.
We’ll talk about this later.
Here we have about 20,000 words, many of them different. There are also a few numbers, reflecting our mathematical mellifluousness. Hopefully, the content is readable and the format acceptable. For example, among other things, we have tried to put all parenthetic thoughts where they belong.
Also, because our writing is usually a bit messy, we spent a long time handtyping, with correct syntax, grammar and stuff, all for your reading pleasure.
It is a given in this work that meaningless, non-descriptive words are onomatopoeic, and that those words which only have phonetic meaning sound just as they are said. Proof: the word “spot” is vacuous, and is like the sound that a spot makes.
Like words and phrases, these are hard to define.
- Look both ways before you cross the road.
- Invest in gold.
- Group things in threes.
Affirmative action: Marietta Mann
Agriculture: Sandy Playnz, Beau Vine
Astronomy: Buck McCluster
Aviation: Aaron Orticle
Chemistry: Dan Gerus
Comedy theory: Hugh Moore
Corporate governance: Haydn de Mudd, Rudy Koulis, Perry Pheral
Economics: I.T. de Pendes
Electrical engineering: Anton de Mitteran
Finance: Rhet Eyerment, Seymour Mahoney, Adam Marp
Food technology: André Mayne de Zërt
Futurist studies: Thom Morrow
Gaming: Jacques Podt
Genealogy: Charlie Sarnt, Bob Zyrunkl
Government: Beau Rocraci
Holistic research: Jan Ited
Hospitality: Rob de Geste, Alf Resco
Housing: Mort Gauge, Ulysses Voyd
Information Technology: Artur Pfischel
International affairs: Haydn Zich
Knowledge management: Noel Hedge
Leadership: Mike Bleave, Harry Diculus, Dick Tait
Legal studies: Laura Byding
Logistics: Frank de Poeste
Management: Lou Dicrus, Lou Natick, Lulu
Management consulting: Matt Ricks, Val Yuad
Marketing: Chris Tallein
Mathematics: Cal Kyulaszn
Meetings, Incentives, Conferences & Exhibitions (MICE) sector: Motti Veight
Military history: Gen. Al Rounder, Admiral Rusty Stern
Mining: Doug Macquarie, Phil Macquarie, Rich Vain
Museum studies: Art Easte
Not-for-profit management: Phil Anthropei, Al Truism
Organisational behaviour: Seren Dipitee, Shelby Wright
Philosophy: Rayson Detra
Pluralism: Juan Sidednesc
Political science: Con Volluted
Psychology: Guy Dance
Publishing: Lex Icon, Dick Schonery, Eddie Torriolle
Standards: Ben Schmuck
Systems management: Cec Temik
Transport: Kerasch Dumhi, Ilya Ford
Water and waste management: Phillip de Poule, Sue Ridge
Work-life balance: Candida Cockburn, Pauly Dunbuy
The Generic typeface used in this volume is the work of Fontov Wisdom, the noted Eastern European fine artist, radical calligrapher and thief. The Generic font is based on the classical English alphabet prior to before the introduction of vowels being introduced in 1066. It is strongly influenced by the painterly style of pre-Raphaelite public transport graffitists, whereby each letter flows to the other, and each word connects fluidly with the sentence structure. The decisive clarity is reminiscent of the Mauritius dodo quill that Wisdom used in his famous mural inside the Moscow pissoire.
The caustic text is printed on acid-free paper, for balance. The paper is made from mostly -recycled toilet paper, which, in turn, was made from old growth Radiata pine, grown in shallow soil above sea level in south-west Tasmania. Its subtle aroma has been known to seduce bookworms, bibliophiles and lexicographers into purchasing softcover first editions, when normally they would order a copy via inter-library loan.
Please feel free photocopy this section, the only part of The Management Contradictionary not subject to copyright.
For one or two copies of this book, please google the publisher or the authors. To buy in bulk, negotiate.
In previous decades, a reader would complete a photocopied form and fax it off; later, such a form would be scanned, filled in onscreen and emailed as an attachment. These days, online ecommerce has taken over, and books can be purchased through Iinternet bookstores. Or maybe not. Check it out: it might work.
Perhaps just ask a real person at your local bookshop.
So, that’s the form.
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I’m an Australian corporate comedian, performing comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.