To beg your indulgence, to begin with, I’d like to begin at and in the beginning, as clarity begins at home. Lets start from scratch, or even before then, at the itch. After all, or before all, or above all, all in all, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. A single step begins with a hop, and a hop begins with a tiptoe. Same goes for a thousand kilometres, although the step would be smaller. Or shorter. Anyway, let the games begin. I hardly know where to begin, when to begin or how to begin. I’m sure you’re beginning to see the light.
Even before we begin, if that’s possible, given that we must begin at some stage, but before we begin, in a state of, if you like, pre-preparedness, we are in development, embryonic, nascent, incipient.
Having begun, or begun to begin, one is merely abecedarian, a fledging, an apprentice, trainee, debutante, rookie.
From this elementary stage, at the outset or even the onset or outbreak, we set off to the kickoff, the conception of the commencement, the dawn of day one, the inocculant, the germ of the idea, the root or seed or seedling or cutting or simply the start.
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Now we’re all in a muddle at the middle, somewhere approximately equidistant between the beginning and the end. To split the difference, we’re at the mid-point of the centre of the fulcrum. Something of a grey area.
Not that being in the middle makes me a middleman. But certainly my role is now that of the intermediary, the liaison, the go-between. I am the intermediate factor.
Sometimes I’m median, sometimes mean depending on the distribution.
Being mediocre by birth, training and capability, I’m well-equipped, here and there, to be halfway between here and there. And in the midst of that, I’m in the midst. Lost in the mist. Im the point thats missed.
In another sense, you could say that being in the middle is core, central and medial. It feels re-medial, even middling, but being in the intervening time is a very average experience.
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The end of the line doesn’t always lead to a new paragraph. A one-time-only offer in its last days is available for those who believe in some sort of apocalyptic Armageddon. An end in and of itself must have a termination at the terminal or terminus, a use-by date, an expiration, a cessation, a conclusive conclusion, a culmination.
That’s all for now, that’s final, this is this, that’s that, it is what it is and what will be will be.
Fate and destiny have us all totalled in our pursuit of closure.
As we draw to an end its time to put the finishing touches on the homestretch by signing off:
Yours truly sincerely, respectfully, faithfully and affectionately.
With love, regards, and good wishes.
Cordially yours, ever yours, to you and yours, all the best, thinking of you, wish you were here, see you soon.
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I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.