Herein book publishing is satirised with anti-humour, anti-jokes and antidotes.

We’re nearly finished with the episodic publication of The Management Contradictionary (Benjamin Marks, Rodney Marks, and Robert Spillane. Michelle Anderson Publishing: Melbourne).

It’s available in all good libraries, and quite a few bad ones, too. The book is in alphabetical order, so feel free to keep reading the blog posts – past, present and future – from eh? to zzz.

The Management Contradictionary defines the real meaning behind management terms.

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To RM and RS:  BM

To BM and RS:  RM

To BM and RM:  RS


It’s not our fault.


The Devil made us do it.

Table of Contents

  • Unsolicited testimonials               
  • Dedications       
  • Disclaimer          
  • Acknowledgements      
  • Table of Contents – you are here
  • Preface               
  • About-face        
  • Forward              
  • Forehead           
  • Foreword           
  • Introduction      
  • Reintroduction 
  • Technical terms               
  • Safety, Health and Environment (SHE) issues     
  • Style choices     
  • Personal note   
  • Important note
  • Gender-neutral language            
  • How to read this contradictionary            
  • The Management Contradictionary       
  • Index   
  • Afterword          
  • Encore 
  • Conclusions       
  • Recommendations         
  • Editorial Committee       
  • Further reading               
  • Font      
  • Paper   
  • Order form        


This is it.


That was it.


Let’s go!


Mop it before reading.


See Preface.


Welcome, and thanks for buying this book.

The reader should be reminded that if a word in this lexicon is unfamiliar, then perhaps the authors made it up. After all, we are the dictionary.


Welcome back, and thanks for funding our writing time.

Technical terms

  1. ‘See’ means ‘see’.
  2. ‘Compare with’ means ‘compare with’.
  3. 1, 2, 3 and so on mean that each definition is separate.
  4. a, b, c and so on mean that each element is part of the larger definition.
  5. If V1 is for vision, V2 is for values, M is for mission, S is for strategy, and O is for the organisation, then:
    • {[(V1+V2) – M] x S} x O = Management.
    • If the cost of S is more than the value of O, then no amount of M will do.

Safety, Health and Environment (SHE) issues

The authors stress that any increase in personal or professional stress sustained as a result of reading this book is the full responsibility of each and every reader. If you are not prepared to accept this condition, please immediately donate the book to your local yoga centre.

This work is highly toxic. It does not contain any throwaway lines. Do not recycle.

Style choices


Personal note

It is the strong belief of the authors that a full appreciation of this contradictionary will result in a larger economic pie being created, and that even if each player in each market ends up with only the same percentage of the whole, the way a rising tide lifts all ships, then so too will everyone be, synergistically, better off. Many of our readers will be involved with pie charts and in cooking the books; and, in those senses, we too are cooks. We hope that you enjoy the grilling and the roasting.

Important note

End of Important Note.

Gender-neutral language

Sometimes the word ‘he’ is used to mean ‘he’ or ‘she’, but often its just means ‘he’. However, we recognise our prejudice, and future joint writing projects include feminist editions of this book, and of the Bible.

We further acknowledge that there are continua of the genders of masculinity and femininity within the sexes of male and female.

It should be noted that the authors are not totally responsible for the limitations of the English language.

How to read this contradictionary

Start at A and go to Z.

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Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian corporate comedian, performing comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.