We continue on and on and on the episodic publication of The Management Contradictionary (Benjamin Marks, Rodney Marks, and Robert Spillane. Michelle Anderson Publishing: Melbourne).
It’s available in all good libraries, and quite a few bad ones, too. The book is in alphabetical order, so feel free to keep reading the blog posts – past, present and future – from eh? to zzz.
The Management Contradictionary defines the real meaning behind management terms.
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Shared risk without shared returns.
just-in-time manufacturing or production
Justification for a seat-of-the-pants management style unsupported by adequate stock reserves.
An employee you can’t sack before finding a replacement.
The tendency to knee a jerk in the reaction.
What information is to data, knowledge is to information. This knowing ledge is an essential platform from which to escape a profit plateau.
Human catalyst who traces the progress of data to information to knowledge to wisdom, and remains unaffected by the journey.
Twenty-four hours during which no work takes place, in order to celebrate the eight hour day.
Manner of speaking that makes inarticulateness a virtue.
- Planning to have no plan.
- Planning to have a plan.
- Lazy fare.
- The economic belief that business can do better without government help.
The lessor of two evils.
What distinguishes humans from animals, and what humans use to deny the distinction.
Moving the unsackable sideways.
A prostitute at performance appraisal time.
- Horizontal thinking performed by a management philosopher.
- Being promoted sideways, and, at the end of the day, thinking that that can’t be.
Honest response to a management decision.
The ritual celebration of the birth of a new product or service, at which the baby is sold to pay for contraception.
The logically defensible rules of conduct, which obviously cannot be a creation of government, and against which managers immunise themselves. Used to put entrepreneurs in jail and to frighten managers. Not applicable to leaders.
- Those who prosecute both sides of de fence.
- Justification for the existence of alternate dispute resolution.
- One of three groups of professionals, wedged between prostitutes and doctors, whom lawyers visit in sequence.
Weasel word for transferring the impact of management mistakes to subordinates.
lead by example
I am an example of good leadership; you should lead like I lead. Then there’ll be no followers …
The time between completing one prerequisite task and commencing its successor, minus the time taken to calculate it.
If a manager is someone with paid followers, then a leader is someone with unpaid followers who will jump over the cliff with them, or even for them.
- What a leader does. And a leader shows leadership. Only a leader can see this apparent paradox as truth. The corollaries of this statement are:
- if you think this reasoning is circular, you’ll never make it to the top; and
- if you’re not confused, then you really don’t understand what’s going on.
- The relationship between the led and those who want to bewitch them.
- A rounded education.
- A metaphor of a graphical representation of exponential acquisition.
- Turning educational corners.
- An educated guess.
- A failure. There is no absolute failure, except the failure to say that your failure is not a learning opportunity.
- Anything and everything.
Potential customer for a teaching organisation.
A one-sided exchange of ideas between two parties, without passing through the minds of either.
A refuge for the white-collar criminal to retreat behind when explaining non-compliant corporate governance behaviour.
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I’m an Australian corporate comedian, performing comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.