We continue with even more of the episodic publication of The Management Contradictionary (Benjamin Marks, Rodney Marks, and Robert Spillane. Michelle Anderson Publishing: Melbourne).
It’s available in all good libraries, and quite a few bad ones, too. The book is in alphabetical order, so feel free to keep reading the blog posts – past, present and future – from eh? to zzz.
The Management Contradictionary defines the real meaning behind management terms.
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debt
(See bad debt)
decentralisation
The road to anarchy.
(See centralisation and weep)
deception
Authentic lying.
decision
- What happens when you are stuck with alternatives.
- A choice made some time in the future or in the past, by someone else, based on false assumptions.
decision-making
Choosing management activities on the basis of power rather than expertise.
decision theory
The theory that theory can help decision-making in practice. Experts are undecided.
defamation
Honesty.
defenestration
The false axiom, held as true by Apple users, that without Microsoft everything would be better.
deficit
An optimistic loss.
definition
Found in dictionaries and contradictionaries, where it serves this purpose.
deflation
Pricking the bubble of pretention of inflated economists. It is the proper antidote to inflation, and all arguments against deflation are wrong.
delegation
Getting other people to do your leg work.
de-merger
- Waking up.
- Re-acquisition.
democracy
- A mate and me singling you out, making you the minority, and doing whatever we want to you, writ large and thought to be just.
- Some entities which pay tax but do not vote – g. foreign corporations, or individual non-voters – can influence politicians and their parties’ policies.
- No government is better than democracy.
- The reality is that even those who are not party to a decision can vote; e., voters who do not pay tax have an equal say to those who do.
- The assertion that all parties to a decision have an equal vote, irrespective of ability, knowledge, relevance, intention, vested interest or belief in democracy.
- Votes do not have equal weight in a democracy. If you vote for a losing candidate, then your vote is worth nothing. If you vote for a winning candidate and the candidate wins by more than one vote, then your vote is worth nothing. If your vote is the decider in a one-vote victory, then you become a dictator.
democrat
The type of manager – the darling of the HR departments – who includes HR departments in all strategic decisions, verifying and validating the HR department and the concept of HR itself.
demographics
Endless dissections of the market requiring continuing finessing, advocated by researchers paid hourly, as a way of predicting which products will sell where, instead of just marketing to the general population and letting them sort it out for themselves.
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I’m an Australian corporate comedian, performing comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
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