We continue the episodic publication of The Management Contradictionary (Benjamin Marks, Rodney Marks, and Robert Spillane. Michelle Anderson Publishing: Melbourne).
It’s available in all good libraries, and quite a few bad ones, too. The book is in alphabetical order, so feel free to keep reading the blog posts – past, present and future – from eh? to zzz.
The Management Contradictionary defines the real meaning behind management terms.
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- An anonymous customer.
- An individual who, when aggregated into the general population mass, becomes responsible for buying everything.
- The boss.
- An all-consuming client.
An ism that you can buy into.
What should happen to production.
We’re still thinking about this.
Bartering to evade tax and other transaction costs.
- Adding definite meaning to words.
- A dictionary with an annotated self-referential index in the back.
- Numerous defining moments, alphabetised.
(verb) To exercise power over people or organisations who agree to be subjugated.
(noun) Those organisational functions that tell you what happens when.
A convened meeting in which participants pretend to be in a convent.
The coming together of resources such as people or technology or ideas – yes, intellectual capital is a resource – so that they are no longer parallel, in metaphorical silos or drainpipes, nor are they diverging. Convergence is more serendipitous than the result of change management processes, consultancies, or leadership.
Murdered by postmodernists.
To administer chaos in a focused way.
The right to copy.
- Values that must be adhered to, compared with non-sticky values in the values statement.
- Values worth laminating.
- The twenty-first-century equivalent to the court jester: the only person allowed to tell the truth to the modern day feudal lord, namely, the CEO.
Messianic messaging process whereby the views of the corporate godhead are evangelised to the unfaithful at the acolytes’ expense.
That unchangeable, intangible organisational feel, the result of history, people, objectives and production, which must be denigrated and decimated by an organisation’s leadership if they are to get anything done.
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I’m an Australian corporate comedian, performing comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.
Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.