Just for fun, enlightenment, motivation and inspiration, here is more in the episodic publication of The Management Contradictionary (Benjamin Marks, Rodney Marks, and Robert Spillane. Michelle Anderson Publishing: Melbourne).

It’s available in all good libraries, and quite a few bad ones, too. It’s in alphabetical order, so feel free to keep reading the blog posts until you get to z, or zzz.

The Management Contradictionary defines the real meaning behind management terms.


Pathetic attempt to fit your background into the selection criteria by writing a self-referential reference.

(See résumé.)


Pointed reference to a placement in which you no longer control your diary.


To report on what you feel before the facts are reality tested.


A PA with ambition.

aptitude test

Battery of circuitous quizzes designed to assess your endurance, your positives and negatives, and the calibre of your weaponry.


Onomatopoeic sound that computer gurus make when they discover that they aren’t. It means argh.


Argued against.


This is a clear font unencumbered by curly bits and is the style choice for emails. When being clear it is crucial to say that you are being clear, even if you have several hidden agendas. By merely saying that something is in Arial your audience will suspend disbelief, even if it is in Times New Roman.


People who know they are the best, contrasted with managers, who know they aren’t.

arts, the

When presenting as cultured and part of the culture, the arts are worth sponsoring for networking over nibbles.

assembly line

A sequenced method of manufacturing robots from humans.

assessment centre

An administration established to milk the belief that psychologists understand behaviour.


  1. Necessary counterweight for balanced accounts, and accountants.
  2. Temporarily valued budget items available to support the career advancement of senior and chief executives.
  3. Optimism quantified.
  4. Liabilities waiting to happen.


Well, you have to start somewhere.


What you’re paid for.


Mythical entity used by managers to manipulate high performers. Can be singular or plural, but out of many comes one, which in other contexts is quite a good motto.

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