Here is a syndrome of sinful synonyms and an anthem of antacid antonyms for literally, and figuratively, a handful of management terms … and conditions. The writing is in Q&A format, to emphasise the assertion that many manager have in mind the answer prior to asking the question.
throughput
- What actually happens in the process of creating a service or product. Senior managers do not know how things are manufactured or created, so this useful wastepaper basket word can be applied to make them look knowledgeable
- The process between input and output
- Transformation, often on a transcendental level
Answer: 4. What you put through something.
synergy
- Two + two = five
- Marketing + finance = operations
- Company a + Company b = you lose your job
- Coal + solar = wind
Answer: 5. Only venture capitalists and lawyers make money through mergers.
customer
- An annoying individual or group entity whose sole aim is to interfere with perfectly good processes, systems, products and services
Answer: 1. There is no other experience.
direction
- Where we’re heading, as determined by the straight line from where we’ve been, through where we are now, and into the infinite future
- Something that you give, but never receive
- An excuse for a conference ever since some Roman said Quo vadis?
Answer: 4. Management consultants’ raison d’être … the reason for our debt.
expert
- A well-credentialed and expensive person from somewhere prestigious, who says the obvious eloquently, and at great length
- Someone better paid than you
- Someone who stayed at university one degree longer than you
- Someone who claims to be
Answer: 4. which is self-explanatory.
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