It’s great to be here.

By ‘here’ I mean in this three-dimensional presentation space.

It has to be three-dimensional; otherwise this keynote would be a bit flat.

I do like the shape of the room, the way it’s formed, configured and fashioned.

The combination of symmetry and lopsidedness, commensurateness and disproportionality, and how it’s both oblongitudinal and truncated, is, too say the least, very unique.

The way this is orthogonal to that is clearly the right angle.

It was hard to find this place, though, wasn’t it?

My journey to this destination was so long as to be spiritual.

I meandered along a tortuous, sinuous and serpentine route only to become lost in a mazy, labyrinthine and concatenated series of interconnected corridors.

This area is quadrangular, that is: tetragonal, but is it a rhombus or a trapezoid? At a guess, I’d say it’s antiparallelogrammatic.

Nice schematic, the variegated motif being a symbolic pictographic hieroglyphic. The edges, longitudinal axial and horizontal transverse, do well to enclose and describe this expanse.

The seats, arranged in a grid, being both serial and parallel depending on how you look at them, works well enough, but it would be better if alternate rows were offset so that tall or broad people sitting immediately front of a more modestly-dimensioned patron would not block views of the stage. I’m inclined to believe that raking might help.

There’s north, there’s south, there’s east, there’s west, and I’ll be your moral compass.

This room is big. This room is roomy. It’s amplitudinous, a humongous behemoth of capacious volume. It’s panoramic and lofty, expansive and soaring. Big. As big as this room is from the inside, from the outside it’s ever bigger. That’s because the walls are thick. And the floor and the ceiling.

I’m usually placed in venues that are teeny-weeny. Minuscule. Diminutive. You can imagine why.

Anyway, we’re here together now, for the duration, as long as my repertoire, and your politeness, last.

We’re connected, interconnected, interrelated, interlinked. More than associated, we’re correlated, there’s a correlative correlational relationship between us. I’m pretty sure that it’s corresponding, that the feeling’s mutual and reciprocated, quid pro quo.

You’re all in close propinquity to each other, side by side, but it couldn’t be said that you’re nearby to me. We are more contiguous, adjacent and juxtaposed. I’m against us being abutting or adjoining. But we perhaps a bit far away, a little far off, at a distance. Come on down. Or up.

Those of you at the margin, your peripheral vision must be bordering on acute.

Enough of these introductory remarks. It’s time to go on to my content.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.