1. Never eat at a fish-and-chip shop next to an aquarium or a potato patch.
  2. Never dine at a sushi bar on a jetty.
  3. Never eat at a steak-house never to a rodeo.
  4. Never visit a dentist next to a cake shop.
  5. Never eat at a restaurant next to a dog pound.
  6. Never go to a pub next to a public toilet block.
  7. Never eat at a hospital next to a zoo.
  8. Never visit a doctor next to a cemetery.
  9. Never buy real estate from a submariner.
  10. Never go to a bank next to a casino.
  11. Never go to a comedy club next to an internet café.
  12. Never work next to a dole office.
  13. Never buy a car from a man in plaster.
  14. Never go to a vegan banquet next to a compost bin.
  15. Never buy a thesaurus from a journalist.
  16. Never buy a rhyming dictionary from a poet.
  17. Never buy intellectual property from an anarchist.
  18. Never fly economy from the national capital.
  19. Never by shoes from a guy with a limp.
  20. Never buy a gun from a guy with a hole in his heart.
  21. Never enrol in a business school with a cash flow problem.
  22. Never enrol in a drama school without a theatre.
  23. Never go to an orthodontist with buck teeth.
  24. Never go to an accountant with a check shirt.
  25. Never go to a lawyer with tattoos.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.