Here we go again, with more of the episodic publication of The Management Contradictionary (Benjamin Marks, Rodney Marks, and Robert Spillane. Michelle Anderson Publishing: Melbourne).
It’s available in all good libraries, and quite a few bad ones, too. The book is in alphabetical order, so feel free to keep reading the blog posts – past, present and future – from eh? to zzz.
The Management Contradictionary defines the real meaning behind management terms.
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Potholes on the road to management.
- Additional unearned money that you receive if you lend money, or the additional money that you pay on money that you borrow. The difference between these two interest rates should always be in the favour of the banks, as this is how they are funded. The cost of capital is equivalent to calculating it.
- The price of time.
Retractable conclusions about financial performance.
Communication medium for networking the depersonalisation of human contact.
What it takes you to realise that the information you are looking for is in your filing cabinet.
A continuous game between anti-virus and anti-spamming software developers, and 3 to 6 year olds auditioning for careers.
A face-to-face meeting with a job candidate, before appointing the one most like the interviewer, their client or their boss.
A manager pretending to be an entrepreneur, without risking his own capital.
- Open-cut recycling bin.
- Bottomless pit of tasks which would have been completed if your colleagues had been competent.
A catch-all defense when logic fails.
Something created from the inventory.
A gamble that hasn’t yet paid off.
The opposite of consumption banking, whereby the financial institution tries to make money from its customers.
Spontaneous order, in that organisations will prosper without management.
A document, valuable to the writer but inconsequential to the recipient, which makes an ambit claim on the latter’s funds.
One that will be enforced until it is overturned.
A lower case study about the International Strategic Management Society.
Outsourcing an apology.
Language used by managers to obfuscate, bamboozle and befuddle everyone, even themselves.
I resent that.
A list of some of the things that might be expected from you in your role, but not as important as the unexplained (and inexplicable) catalogue of tasks that you actually perform, especially being a scapegoat for your immediate boss’s mistakes.
job dissatisfaction, or excuses for changing jobs
- Your diligence showed up colleagues as lazy, and they white-anted you so often.
- You have tried to broaden your experience base to bring to each new role a broad understanding of how the industry as a whole works.
- You embrace change, and whilst terribly loyal, always look for opportunities to grow, both as a person and as a professional.
Giving you wider responsibilities without extra pay.
Giving you deeper responsibilities without extra pay.
Swapping your crummy job for someone else’s, without extra pay.
- A feeling promoted by executive search consultants when mere salary isn’t enough.
- The pleasure given to people who enlarge, enrich or rotate other people’s jobs.
- Something you spend.
- Indication of lack of initiative.
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