154 film titles and slogans

Comedians deliver their messages concisely; so too do business communicators. We can all learn from the way that screenwriters name their films, and the way that film marketers create slogans that persuade us to watch them.

Check out these titles. Do they tell the story, or ask a question that makes us want to discover the answer? Does the slogan save a poor title from oblivion by creating interest?

Think of the products and service that you’ve involved with. Are you selling them as effectively as these film professionals? Many of the slogans are funny, even when the films are not meant to be.

Comedy cuts through. This long list has scores of jokes hidden as slogans.

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Action-Adventure/Thriller

Cops

Marked for Death

He was a good cop in a bad mood.

Ricochet

He’s a cop accused of murder. And the only one who knows he’s innocent is the killer who wants him dead.

Past Tense

Ex-cop Gene Walston has just witnessed a murder. But there’s no evidence, no witness, and no body.

Saigon

In a city of corruption, most cops don’t know where to start. These guys don’t know when to stop.

Someone to Watch Over Me

A married cop. A beautiful witness. Protecting her became a dangerous affair.

Cop

He threw away the rule book. Then wrote his own.

Fair Game

He’s a cop on the edge. She’s a woman with a dangerous secret. They’ve been targeted by the Russian Mob. And now they’re both fair game.

An Innocent Man

Two cops on the take just made the biggest mistake of their lives.  They framed an innocent man.

Sugar Hill

He wanted power. He wanted revenge. Now he just wants out.

Passenger 57

He’s en ex-cop with a bad mouth, a bad attitude and a bad seat. And for terrorists on Flight 163 he’s very bad news.

Heaven’s Prisoners

For an ex-cop obsessed with an unsolved murder, trusting the wrong woman can be a deadly choice.

The Custodian

In a corrupt police force, the one bad apple is an honest cop.

Black Rain

A cop on the edge. A conspiracy on the rise. A killer on the loose.

Blue Steel

For a rookie cop, there’s one thing more dangerous than uncovering a killer’s fantasy. Becoming it.

Murphy’s Law

He was a cop. She was a thief. Together they were running for their lives.

Mulhulland Falls

As law enforcers they believed they were untouchable. Now they’re being accountable.

Unlawful Entry A man obsessed will do anything for love. A cop obsessed can get away with it.

Deadly Target

A dangerous drug lord. A renegade cop…The ultimate showdown.

The Untouchables

Al Capone ruled Chicago with absolute power. No one could stop him. Until Elliot Ness and a small force of men swore they’d bring him down.

Wanted Dead or Alive

The government wants them dead or alive. Nick Randall is a CIA bounty hunter. He just wants them dead.

Viper

Somewhere between the CIA and the KGB there’s Viper.

Vigilantes

Rambo, Part II

No man, no war, no law can stop him.

One Tough Bastard

Revenge is everything.

Nowhere to Run

When the law can’t protect the innocent, the only hero left is an outlaw.

The Young Americans

The American drug wars have come to London and one cop has a mission to stop them.

Vigilante Cop

Street justice is the only justice.

One Man’s Justice

One man’s family threatened. One man’s partner murdered. Now it’s time for one man’s justice.

Assassins

In the shadows of life, in the business of death. One man found a reason to live.

Striking Distance

They shouldn’t have put him in the water if they didn’t want him to make waves.

The Grasscutter

When there’s no going back and no place to hide, the hunted turns hunter.

On Deadly Ground

His battle to save the Alaskan wilderness and protect its people can only be won on deadly ground.

Scarface

He loved the American dream…with a vengeance.

Patriot Games

Not for honour. Not for country. For his wife and child.

Gun for Hire

It’s only a matter of time…before all hell breaks loose.

Carolina Skeletons

His relentless search for justice made him the enemy.

Clear and Present Danger

Truth needs a soldier.

Royce

The cold war won’t be over until Shane Royce adds a little heat.

Desperado

When the smoke clears, that means he’s just re-loading.

The Punisher

If society won’t punish the guilty, he will.

Savage Streets

They raped her sister and killed her best friend…

Broken Trust

They promised to expose the guilty. But they used his honour, his friendships, and betrayed his trust.

Historical Heroes

Rob Roy

Honour made him a man. Courage made him a hero. History made him a legend.

Braveheart

What kind of man would defy a king?

Sci-fi

Robo Warriors

Retreat is not an option.

Moral Kombat

Nothing in this world has prepared you for this.

Time Cop

Turn back the clock and you’re history.

Species

Men cannot resist her. Mankind may not survive her.

The Fly

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Sleepwalkers

They live for pleasure. They live for the kill. And they live forever.

Outland

On Jupiter’s moon, he’s the only law.

The Arrival

Stop watching the stars and start watching your back.

Project Shadowchaser

Man created the perfect killing machine. Now man is the enemy.

Search and Destroy

It’s the world’s deadliest weapon. No army can stop it.

Strange Days

An extreme taste of reality.

Omen IV – The Awakening

They said it was over. They were wrong.

Wolf

The moon is full. The man is changing. The animal is out.

The Quest

Go the distance.

River of Death

The ultimate action-adventure where only the toughest survive.

Red Scorpion

Think you can control it? Think again.

Murders

Masquerade

An heiress. A hustler. A set-up. A murder. It’s not a game anymore.

Under Suspicion

How close can you get to a killer before you’re too close?

True Crime

No Suspects. No Witnesses. No Clues.

Devlin

First the set-up, then the frame-up, next the cover-up.

Third Degree Burn

A passion in the first degree. Murder in the second. The price for getting too close.

Just Cause

Buried deep in the Florida Everglades is a secret that can save an innocent man or let a killer kill again.

Twin Sisters

A trusted wife. A high-price call girl. Mirror images twisted together by sex, murder and betrayal.

The Underneath

For passion, betrayal and murder, there’s still no place like home.

Pentathalon

The most challenging sport has just become the deadliest game.

The Professional

Revenge can be a deadly game. Even for a trained killer.

Lisa

She is young. She is beautiful. She is next.

All-American Murder

Between suspicion and seduction, trust and deception, moves the shadow of murder.

A Dangerous Place

High school can be a dangerous place…and a deadly experience.

Citizen X

It’s hard to find a killer when the government refuses to acknowledge there is one.

Diabolique

It would’ve been the perfect murder, if only the victim was dead.

Clockers

When there’s murder on these streets, everyone’s a suspect.

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

Behind a beautiful face, beneath a dangerous smile, lies a revenge that can’t be stopped.

White Line

There’s one murder that may concern him more than his father’s. His own.

Copycat

One man is copying the most notorious killers in history…one at a time. Together two women must stop him from killing again. Or they’re next.

Where Sleeping Dogs Lie

To write the book of his career, he will study a brutal crime. To uncover its secrets and reveal the truth he must enter the mind of a killer.

Delores Clairborne

They were separated by a death and reunited by a murder.

Robberies

The Getaway

A dangerous deal. A double-cross. And the ultimate set-up is yet to come.

Dead Presidents

In a daring armed robbery, they’ll risk everything for the ultimate score.

The Take

Taking it all will take everything he’s got.

Killing Zone

We go in, we get what we want, we get out.

Love-related crime

Victim of Love

She warned her patients about fatal attractions. She should’ve taken her own advice.

Sleeping with the Enemy

She changed her name, her looks, her life. All to escape the most dangerous man she knew – her husband.

Jade

Some fantasies go too far.

Revenge

The one passion more uncontrollable than love.

No Mercy

Murder brought them together, passion keeps them there.

A Kiss Before Dying

Loving him was easy. Trusting him was deadly.

Blind Judgement

She lived for him. She lied for him. Now she’ll kill for him.

The Mob/Mafia

Miller’s Crossing

When the mob meet the mafia, there’s only one outcome. War.

A Prayer for the Dying

The movement wants his heart. The mob wants his gun. Martin Fallon wants his freedom.

Gotti

In the mob, there’s only one thing more sacred than family. Silence.

Goodfellas

Three decades of life in the mafia.

Legal

Target Witness

She can identify a wanted killer. But to catch him, she’ll have to be the bait.

Eyewitness

You’re never more vulnerable than when you’ve seen too much.

Presumed Innocent

It’s always dangerous to presume.

The Verdict

The doctors, the church, the lawyers and even his own clients are desperate to settle. But Galvin is determined to defy them all. He will try the case.

Class Action

Nothing personal. It’s just father versus daughter in the fight of their lives.

Jagged Edge

When a murder case is this shocking, which do you trust? Your emotions or your evidence?

Music Box

As a lawyer she wanted nothing but the truth. As his daughter she wanted nothing but his innocence.

The Juror

There is no defense.

Gross Misconduct

Between guilt and innocence lies temptation.

Disclosure

Now it’s going to be your word against hers.

Indictment

The charges were shocking. The truth didn’t matter.

General

Crimson Tide

On the nuclear submarine USS Alabama one man has absolute power. And one man will do anything to stop him.

The Hunt for Red October

Invisible. Silent. Stolen.

Terminal Velocity

It’s not the fall that kills you.

Point Break

Together they take adventure past the point of no return.

Danger Zone

Danger is a way of life.

No Way Out

Is it a crime of passion or an act of treason?

Backdraft

One breath of oxygen and it explodes in a deadly rage.

A Season in Purgatory

A decade of damnation. A lifetime of deceit.

Heat

An epic story of crime and obsession.

A Time to Kill

It was a time to stand up for what they believed in. It was a time to doubt what they trusted. And no time for mistakes.

Primal Fear

Sooner or later a man who wears two faces forgets which one is real.

Spy

Changing the face won’t change the man. The past will always find you.

Malice

Her doctor wasn’t playing God. He thought he was God.

A Bronx Tale

When you live with criminals, chances are you’re going to die with them.

Streets of Fire

Enter a world where street gangs rule and violence is real.

Narrow Margin

Sometimes the difference between life and death can be a narrow margin.

Twister

The dark side of nature.

Light Sleeper

He was lured by drugs into a world in which no one rests. And few escape.

The Crying Game

Some secrets should never be revealed.

The Vanishing

Obsession is the ultimate weapon.

Speed

Get ready for rush hour.

Reflections on a Crime

After seven years on death row, Regina has one last night to reveal the truth.

True Colors

Lies. Deceit. Betrayal. It’s what friendship is all about.

Deceived

She thought she had the perfect life. But she was dead wrong.

Rumble in the Bronx

No fear. No stuntmen. No equal.

Drama

Love stories

Jude

It was a question every man must answer. Whether to follow his dreams no matter what. Or let go slowly and let life lead him where it will.

Legends of the Fall

There is a legend that must be told of what is savage in our hearts and what is wild in us all.

Sommersby

She knew his face, his touch, his voice. She knew everything about him but the truth.

First Knight

Experience the adventure that legends are made of.

Jane Eyre

An irrepressible spirit. An untamable heart. A love story for all time.

In Love and War

In war they found each other. In each other they found love.

Up Close and Personal

Every day we have is one more than we deserve.

Jason’s Lyric

The past ties them together. The hood will tear them apart.

Age of Innocence

In a world of tradition, in an age of innocence, they dared to break the rules.

Persuasion

It’s never too late for true love.

Interesting People

Casino

No one stays at the top forever.

Nixon

He changed a world but lost a nation.

Quiz Show

Fifty million people watched, but no one saw a thing.

The Crossing Guard

Some lives cross. Other collide.

The Shawshank Redemption

It takes a strong man to save himself. And a great man to save another.

Marvin’s Room

A story about the years that keep us apart and the moments that bring us together.

Alive

The true story of a triumph of the human spirit.

Waiting to Exhale

Friends are the people who let you be yourself and never let you forget it.

Chasing the Dragon

Mother. Lover. Addict. What she needs can save her. What she wants can kill her.

Bound

It’s not where you’ve been. It’s where you’re bound.

Comedy/Drama (or, Dramedy)

War of the Roses

Once in a lifetime comes a motion picture that makes you feel like falling in love all over again. This is not that movie.

Only You

It’s a once-in-a-lifetime date … with destiny.

Moonlight and Valentino

A film as funny, complicated and real … as life itself.

Clerks

Just because they serve you doesn’t mean they like you.

Mrs. Winterbourne

Just when Connie was running out of hope … she got herself a life. Unfortunately it was somebody else’s.

Keys to Tulsa

Blackmail. Seduction. Murder … It’s been a big weekend!

… … … … …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

25 neverisms

  1. Never eat at a fish-and-chip shop next to an aquarium or a potato patch.
  2. Never dine at a sushi bar on a jetty.
  3. Never eat at a steak-house never to a rodeo.
  4. Never visit a dentist next to a cake shop.
  5. Never eat at a restaurant next to a dog pound.
  6. Never go to a pub next to a public toilet block.
  7. Never eat at a hospital next to a zoo.
  8. Never visit a doctor next to a cemetery.
  9. Never buy real estate from a submariner.
  10. Never go to a bank next to a casino.
  11. Never go to a comedy club next to an internet café.
  12. Never work next to a dole office.
  13. Never buy a car from a man in plaster.
  14. Never go to a vegan banquet next to a compost bin.
  15. Never buy a thesaurus from a journalist.
  16. Never buy a rhyming dictionary from a poet.
  17. Never buy intellectual property from an anarchist.
  18. Never fly economy from the national capital.
  19. Never by shoes from a guy with a limp.
  20. Never buy a gun from a guy with a hole in his heart.
  21. Never enrol in a business school with a cash flow problem.
  22. Never enrol in a drama school without a theatre.
  23. Never go to an orthodontist with buck teeth.
  24. Never go to an accountant with a check shirt.
  25. Never go to a lawyer with tattoos.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

Show business is two words

Have you ever wondered what comedians do to drum up performances? Here my 20 favourite sales and marketing activities:

  1. Doing nothing.
  2. Fiddling with my LinkedIn profile.
  3. Fiddling with my website.
  4. Writing jokes for possible future performances.
  5. Ditto for upcoming gigs.
  6. Thinking.
  7. Thinking about thinking.
  8. Thinking about writing humorous anecdotes.
  9. Over-thinking.
  10. Thinking that I’m over-thinking.
  11. Thinking that I’m over thinking.
  12. Messaging someone I’ve worked for.
  13. Messaging someone I haven’t worked for.
  14. Considering investing in Google AdWords.
  15. Deciding not to invest in Google AdWords.
  16. Reconsidering investing in Google AdWords.
  17. Deciding definitely not to invest in Google AdWords.
  18. Considering investing in LinkedIn Ads.
  19. Deciding definitely not to invest in LinkedIn Ads.
  20. Writing a blog post in list format.

… … … … …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

A keynote opening for any business event

It’s great to be here.

By ‘here’ I mean in this three-dimensional presentation space.

It has to be three-dimensional; otherwise this keynote would be a bit flat.

I do like the shape of the room, the way it’s formed, configured and fashioned.

The combination of symmetry and lopsidedness, commensurateness and disproportionality, and how it’s both oblongitudinal and truncated, is, too say the least, very unique.

The way this is orthogonal to that is clearly the right angle.

It was hard to find this place, though, wasn’t it?

My journey to this destination was so long as to be spiritual.

I meandered along a tortuous, sinuous and serpentine route only to become lost in a mazy, labyrinthine and concatenated series of interconnected corridors.

This area is quadrangular, that is: tetragonal, but is it a rhombus or a trapezoid? At a guess, I’d say it’s antiparallelogrammatic.

Nice schematic, the variegated motif being a symbolic pictographic hieroglyphic. The edges, longitudinal axial and horizontal transverse, do well to enclose and describe this expanse.

The seats, arranged in a grid, being both serial and parallel depending on how you look at them, works well enough, but it would be better if alternate rows were offset so that tall or broad people sitting immediately front of a more modestly-dimensioned patron would not block views of the stage. I’m inclined to believe that raking might help.

There’s north, there’s south, there’s east, there’s west, and I’ll be your moral compass.

This room is big. This room is roomy. It’s amplitudinous, a humongous behemoth of capacious volume. It’s panoramic and lofty, expansive and soaring. Big. As big as this room is from the inside, from the outside it’s ever bigger. That’s because the walls are thick. And the floor and the ceiling.

I’m usually placed in venues that are teeny-weeny. Minuscule. Diminutive. You can imagine why.

Anyway, we’re here together now, for the duration, as long as my repertoire, and your politeness, last.

We’re connected, interconnected, interrelated, interlinked. More than associated, we’re correlated, there’s a correlative correlational relationship between us. I’m pretty sure that it’s corresponding, that the feeling’s mutual and reciprocated, quid pro quo.

You’re all in close propinquity to each other, side by side, but it couldn’t be said that you’re nearby to me. We are more contiguous, adjacent and juxtaposed. I’m against us being abutting or adjoining. But we perhaps a bit far away, a little far off, at a distance. Come on down. Or up.

Those of you at the margin, your peripheral vision must be bordering on acute.

Enough of these introductory remarks. It’s time to go on to my content.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.

Over-explaining is under-explaining

Clarification1 with footnotes2

The3 remarkable4 thing5 about6

precision7

Is8 its9 arbitrariness,10

For11 as soon as12 we13 probe14 life,15

places,16 time17

We’re18 bound19 to find20 no21

borders.22

  1. Of course, a title doesn’t entitle the reader, only what’s read.
  2. Like this one.
  3. When I say ‘the’, I’m being subjective, of course. ‘An’ might garner more of a consensus.
  4. The proof of its being remarkable is that I am remarking on it now.
  5. A weak sleeper of a word, I know. However, when generalising, I like to. It is also a neat and acceptable collocation for its adjective.
  6. Concerning, isn’t it?
  7. I’m trying here, to exact meaning.
  8. Is is what it is.
  9. It’s hard to be relatively possessive.
  10. The world is so unjust. Just so.
  11. Here we imply a causal relationship.
  12. Immediacy depends on where you start from. And when.
  13. Be embraced by the all-embracing.
  14. We have space to.
  15. To define the meaning of life in a footnote would be so demeaning to an ancient history of philosophy.
  16. The special is oh so important …
  17. … but not compared to the temporal.
  18. Not the royal plural but our shared humanity.
  19. Our destiny has us tied up.
  20. The possible discoveries for non-adventurers are limited to the theoretical.
  21. Yep, the party line is that there’s a complete absence.
  22. Here we have a footnote about a margin note.

…   …   …   …   …

Rodney Marks

I’m an Australian comedian, hoax speaker and corporate impostor. I mainly present comic hoaxes at business events. If you like these blogs, you’ll like my live comedy. If you don’t like these blogs, you still might like my live comedy.

Add comedian.com.au to your bookmarks, and one day: book Marks. I don’t do cheap jokes, and I’m freer than you think. I’m comical not anatomical, economical not astronomical.

For more info – and to contact me directly – see my LinkedIn profile, and website: www.comedian.com.au. I’m based in Sydney and travel widely.